We all have those days or weeks in our lives when life tests our physical endurance, emotional stability, ability to handle stress, and/or the belief in the power of prayer. Last week life tested all of those for me. With my husband undergoing aortic aneurysm surgery, one having a fair amount of risk to it, it took all of my energy and resilience, along with the incredible amount of love and support from family and friends, to help me to stay as grounded as possible through it all. And I wasn't even the one experiencing all of the hope, angst, and pain that comes with being the patient. At times like these, the fear of the unknown can take my mind to places I instinctively know are ones I don't want to spend any amount of time in. Mostly due to the fear of being swallowed up in them without either having the strength or a life line bringing me back to a place where I can breathe somewhat normally again. Trying to keep my thoughts positive took an inordinate amount of energy because rational and irrational worrisome ones continued trying to creep into my head. Particularly while waiting during the lengthy surgery. Sometimes these worries got in and lingered there for awhile. Draining me emotionally and physically. In spite of having prided myself on having a fairly high degree of resiliency over the years, this was a context it had yet to be vetted against.
As a caregiver you can't really lose sight of the emotions and levels of discomfort the patient is experiencing. Although there are moments when you are so consumed with your own anxieties it becomes hard to be compassionate 24/7. Even after your worst fears aren't realized (thank goodness for talented surgeons, skilled nurses, and medical science advancement), the ability to be remain steadfastly empathic fluctuates. At least it did for me. Fortunately these moments have been short lived. When you spend a significant amount of time in a hospital you become hyper aware of the everyone around you. Of the many observations made during the past week was how consistently attentive, kind, and yes, compassionate the medical professional staff in the hospital were. To the point where I was in awe of their ability to remain calm in the most chaotic of moments. Whether these are qualities they need to possess or not, doesn't matter. They are admirable.
I wanted to, no I needed to, show my appreciation to everyone involved in my husband's care and recovery with more than saying thank you. Making food has always been one of the ways I show gratefulness to others. Only this week I couldn't even muster enough energy to make a batch of cookies. I tried to remind myself baking is cathartic. But even that truth wasn't compelling enough to get me in the kitchen. So instead I brought in candy from one of my favorite stores, doughnuts, baby bundtlets, muffins, and cookies. Everything was store bought. Nothing was homemade (by me). When you get immense pleasure from baking for others, bringing something made by someone else doesn't seem to carry the same weight of appreciation. At least it doesn't for the giving me. The weight of the world temporarily lifted from my shoulders when we both able to return home. My energy level began returning in calm, steady waves. For the couple of hours spent baking a new cookie recipe, I could suspend thinking about the temporary new normal and simply lose myself (and my stress). It was one of the reprieves my mind and body so desperately needed.
In the last couple of weeks, I noticed the uncanny, almost simultaneous sharing of two brownie crinkle cookies on Instagram. Visually these two cookies almost looked identical to one another although there were variations in both the ingredients used and techniques applied. Judging the reactions these cookies were receiving, it appeared they were destined to be the second best cookie of the year. Several months ago the Salted Butter and Chocolate Chunk Shortbread, an incredibly delicious version of the chocolate chip cookie, had almost everyone across the globe declaring them to be the best cookie ever. Because I find cookies made with chocolate slightly irresistible, I too wanted to jump on this brownie crinkle cookie bandwagon. From my perspective, it seemed there was a cookie throw down in the making, but no one seemed to want to pit these two cookies against one another, including me. In spite of the fact both recipes had some similarities to my favorite Maida Haetter Chocolate Whoppers I still felt compelled to make them. Or at least one of them. Although, instead of choosing one recipe over the other, I decided to do a mash-up between the two of them with a little Maida Haetter thrown in for good measure.
If you haven't noticed, but there has been a bit of a 'pounding of the cookie sheet during baking' phenomenon going on right now. Intentionally deflated cookies, particularly chocolate chip cookies, are now trending. Which might explain in party why this technique is now being applied to other kinds of cookies. Like these Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies. Rather than being the 'first one out of the gate' to use the deflated cookie technique, I would be one of many fast followers out there.
So let's talk about these absolutely super delicious, slightly addictive cookies. In addition to dark chocolate (having a cocoa content ranging from 62-70%), these Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies also have Dutch-processed cocoa as one of the ingredients. Instant espresso ramps up the intensity of the chocolate flavor in these cookies while also giving them an ever so slight hint of the taste of coffee. In my world it would be sacrilegious to leave out vanilla in any cookie involving chocolate. Even if only a half teaspoon of it is added in. There are two kinds of salt in these cookies: kosher and flaky sea salt. One is mixed into the batter, while the other is sprinkled on top.
Normally I buy blocks or bars of chocolate, but for this cookie I decided to use chocolate chips. Especially since the chocolate was going to first be melted with the butter and then mixed into the batter. Whether you choose blocks, bars, or chips, use a dark chocolate, one having 62%-70% cocoa. Begin making these cookies by melting the butter and chocolate as the mixture needs to cool slightly before being added to the batter.
While the melted chocolate/butter is cooling, place the the eggs and both sugars in the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a whisk attachment. Beat until the mixture has doubled in volume, has thick consistency, and appears to be a light caramel color (my beating time was 5 minutes). Mix in the chocolate/butter mixture and vanilla until incorporated, followed by mixing in the dry ingredients. Do not over beat the batter or it will begin to dry out while appearing to be wet, ultimately affecting the sheen of your baked cookies.
Using an ice cream scoop helps to create uniformed sized, almost perfectly round cookies. I used one slightly larger than one inch in diameter. The sprinkling sea salt on most chocolate cookies definitely gives them a certain wow factor. And this cookie is no exception. Don't overcrowd the baking sheet as these cookies will spread to a little more than three inches in diameter. Would recommend baking only 8 to 10 cookies at a time.
Until most cookies that require no babysitting or fussing with until they are done, these Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies are a bit on the high maintenance side. If anything gives high maintenance a good name, these cookies do. Overall baking time is 11-12 minutes, however, at the 5, 7, and 9 minute marks, the baking pan is removed from the oven, tapped on the counter to help with the deflating process. Trust me when I say this one of those times when being a fussyterian pays off.
The baked cookies rest on the baking sheet for five minutes before being transferred to a cooling rack.
I would tell you to wait until the cookies are cooled to try one, but having tasted one still warm I can't. If there was one reward you should give yourself for making these Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies for your family and/or friends, it would be to eat one of them while they are still warm. It will be one of your OMG moments of the day.
These are definitely a cross between a brownie and a cookie. In other words, they are the best of two worlds. A tad rich, intensely chocolately and slightly fudgy, these are kinds of cookies you would really like to hoard for yourself. But you will experience a different kind of euphoria when you share them with your family and/or friends. These Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies are definitely ones I will be making again (and again and again). Yes, they are keepers. Not just because they are insanely delicious, but because they will always remind me of two things: (1) how much I value the people in my life who get me and still love me and (2) how much I get from baking. Especially when life tests my endurance, resilience, and strength all at once.
If it ever gets warm here, these Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies would make great Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookie Ice Cream Sandwiches. Vanilla or Mocha Chip Ice Cream would be my first choices. Although I wouldn't rule out Coconut, Chocolate Chip Mint, or Espresso ice cream as options.
Sea Salted Espresso Brownie Crinkle Cookies (inspired by multiple sources)
Makes approximately 22-24 cookies
Ingredients
7 ounces (200g) dark chocolate (at least 62% but no more than 70% cocoa) chips or a bar chopped
9 Tablespoons (125g) unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
3/4 cup (150g) granulated or caster sugar
1/2 cup (100g) light brown sugar, firmly packed
1 cup (130g) all-purpose flour
3 Tablespoons Dutch-processed cocoa
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 to 2 teaspoons instant espresso
Flaky sea salt for sprinkling
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees (F) or 180 degrees C. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper and set aside.
2. Place the butter and dark chocolate in a bowl. Set bowl over a pot of gently simmering water, being careful not to let the bottom of the bowl touch the water. Allow the butter and chocolate to fully melt. Remove the bowl from the heat and allow to cool slightly.
3. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder, salt and instant espresso in a bowl. Whisk to combine. Set aside.
4. In a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, beat the eggs and both sugars for 5 minutes.
5. Pour in chocolate mixture and vanilla, beat for approximately 1 minute or until incorporated.
6. Add the dry ingredients and mix only until just combined.
7. Using a 1" in diameter ice cream scoop, scoop out cookie dough and place on prepared cookie sheet. Allow at least 2 inches of space between each ball of dough (should be able to fit 8 to 10 cookies per sheet). Sprinkle the tops of each cookie with some flaky sea salt.
8. Bake cookies one cookie sheet at a time. The total baking time for the cookies will range from 11 to 12 minutes. After 5 minutes, remove the cookie sheet from the oven and tap the tray against a counter to slightly deflate the cookies. Return to the oven and bake for another 2 minutes, remove cookie sheet again, tapping against a counter to further deflate. Again return the cookie sheet to the oven for another 2 minutes. Remove and tap against a counter to deflate. Return back to the oven and continue to bake for additional 2-3 minutes. Cookies will be just firm around the edges and set in the middle. Remove from the oven and allow the cookies to rest on the baking sheet for 5 minutes. Transfer cookies to a cooling rack.
9. Serve cookies warm or allow to come to room temperature.
10. Store cookies in a sealed container. Cookies are best eaten before 3 days has lapsed. But more than likely they will not last that long.
Notes: (1) I used Guittard Extra Dark Chocolate Chips, 63% cocoa, for these cookies. (2) I used only 1 teaspoon of the instant espresso and the coffee flavor was only mildly detectable. Would increase to 2 teaspoons the next time I make them. (3) If using chocolate chips, the weight/grams convert to a little more than 1 1/8 cups. (4) The inspiration for my version of these brownie cookies came from recipes shared by food bloggers Butter and Brioche and The Boy Who Bakes.
